Oh, I love this track!

I was looking forward to 5:30 pm all day yesterday. I was going back to my favorite class at the Y. Muscle Conditioning. Great class and let's face it, I'm not gonna do enough exercises and reps on my own so this is perfection for me. Plus, the instructor kicks ass. Seriously. She's intimately involved with the ancient art of Tae Kwon Do. So I'm talking literally and figuratively. And with a bunch of adverbs.

Anyway, I was about 5 minutes late so the class was already warming up. As I walked up I could see thru the obligatory glass door and walls that Ms. Kickass was in absentia. Bummer #1. I recognized the chick leading the class as regular attendee in the past so I went ahead and found a spot, hopeful that I'd still get a good workout.

When we neared the end of the warmup, I started hearing phrases like right basic, left basic, transition to knee-up. Now I don't know if those phrases mean anything particular to you but to me they meant step aerobics. I hate step aerobics. Bummer #2.

As I surveyed the room, I noticed the demographic leaned more toward female products of the baby boomers and the numbers were way low compared to the muscle conditioning class. This gave me a sense of validity because I believe the conception of step class was simultaneous with the roll out of Reebok Pumps. That's got marketing ploy written all over it, folks. The shoes have long since faded out, step aerobics should just bite the bullet and follow suit. Are we all in agreement?

Did I mention that I hate step aerobics? Because I do. Especially since the great step induced embarrassment of 2002 (maybe on another day, if I get the courage to share).

As I went through the motions of around the world, diagonal, and A-step, I started wondering where my class had gone. How long had my "brief" hiatus been? Surely not more than 2 weeks? I thought I was going crazy. We finally started doing squats and lunges and I never thought I'd be so happy to switch to those exercises but I was absolutely ecstatic.

Then on to abs, WHOO-HOO! I ran over and grabbed my mat like it was a Krispy Kreme and the HOT light was on. We started out with what I learned in yoga is called plank pose. You know...the one where you are on your elbows and toes until your whole body starts shaking uncontrollably. And I was even happy to be doing that! We continued on and I was doing crunches like they were going out of style trying to achieve my own personal endorphin high. At some point though I turned and noticed the instructor. She was in the middle of leading the cooldown...while staring at me. Not doing cooldown. Doing crunches. Heh.

I looked at the clock and it was only 6:20, we still had 10 more minutes. Why was she telling us about tomorrow's class and who is scheduled to teach Saturday? Why did she just tell us to wipe our mats off before putting them away? Class was over. Bummer #3.

On the way out I grabbed a schedule and apparently the class change and time change have to do with the new summer schedule. Bummer #4. They should email those things out. My class has been moved to 4:15 pm. Bummer #5. From those of us that work 8 to 5, thanks guys. Looks like I'm gonna have to pick up the 6:00 am one...yeah right, don't hold your breath. Maybe I'll give the Aquajog class that my high school English/journalism teacher tries to get me to try every time she sees me in the locker room a chance. Then again, maybe not.